July 28, 2014
The other day I crossed the aisle of Target, distracted by something shiny and pretty. You know the feeling. Unknowingly, I stepped in front of a fellow shopper, going straight with purpose, and me, momentarily cutting him off at the pass. He huffed a bit and I apologized, not thinking much of it since I didn’t really slow him down any, nor did I bump into him. My apology only seemed to aggravate him more, his huffs turning to loud sighs, to which I replied something slightly sarcastic like “didn’t know you were in such a hurry.” He kept walking and yelled back at me, “didn’t know you were retarded.”
I stood there in front of the candles and stationary, in total shock, that a grown man, as “normal” as they come, would call someone retarded in broad daylight, in the middle of Target. I don’t know why it made me think of the internet, but I saw with instant clarity how people could be so awful online, seeing as how we could be in real life, face to face. Then that made me think about how easy it is for us all to get so worked up on a daily basis about stuff, because we have so much information coming at us every day from differing points of view, half of which could make us seething mad. I spent a good portion of early mornings during our vacation, waking up before everyone else, reading updates and articles about what’s going on in Gaza, and reading the comments. I don’t know why I do that, read the comments, but it always sucks me in and makes me sad how different we all see things.
I read a quote from Judd Apatow on my Chipotle bag today which made a lot of sense, and got me out of my funk a bit today. It said “Don’t be a jerk. Try to love everyone. Give more than you take. And do it despite the fact that you only really like about seven out of 500 people.” Why are we such jerks to each other? I’m feeling really conflicted today posting about food or clothes or even my family vacation I was fortunate to take. There’s so much to talk about, but I really just want to stay quiet. I’ve lost my words it seems.
I will hopefully be back tomorrow, a little more rested and a little less bleak.
I know what you mean. A couple of months ago I pulled into a parking spot at the supermarket, wasn’t looking, and didn’t see that I had cut off a guy who was pulling out. Not my best driving, but neither car was even close to being hurt, and it happens. The guy proceeded to pull out and wait behind my car for me to get out. I fooled around in the car, played with my phone, thinking after a couple of minutes he’d just drive away. He finally pulled up after five minutes or so, so I got out of my car and cut through to the next aisle to avoid him. Well, he looped around the parking lot, pulled up next to me and started screaming at me that I was ” a f@!$ing moron.” I was too stunned to speak, this guy who was chasing me down in a parking lot to yell at me. I thought of a hundred things to say after the fact, but I ended up running into the store and wandering around, shaken, for twenty minutes, trying to calm down. What is it with people?
Sorry! People can be so rude. I know it’s of little consolation, but I’m sure that his reaction had nothing to do with you. You were just at the wrong time and place.
Totally agree. When people are jerks, I just immediately think, this has NOTHING to do with me, and EVERYTHING to do with them!”
First know that you’re not alone…I’ve been in a similar situation and it left me feeling so down. Then it made me think that the world we are living in sucks, but in reality it doesn’t! It’s just certain people who suck (haha! Like the guy at Target). I do agree that there are so many horrible things going on (and I hate that so many people seem oblivious), and I think it’s great that you actually blogged about it. I am a newer follower and I appreciate that you’re not blogging all the time about the same exact things that everyone else is blogging about (don’t get me wrong I love your food/family posts!).
The hardest thing to remember for me is “God loves him/her AS MUCH as He loves me.” That asshole at Target, that self-absorbed blogger with her endless selfies (NOT you, Andrea haha – but I’m sure you know of a few!), that self-righteous judgmental shrew from Church…
You just want that miserable person to be miserable and receive the karmic justice of their inexplicable nastiness. And yeah, its just as bad on the internet!
I try to remind myself of that top saying. That God sees that person with the same love and understanding that He sees me, with all my faults that each have reasonable roots and are not wholly despicable. That there is a path for the most obnoxious and hateful out there, and they’re also on a journey.
Remembering this helps me to take a chill pill and sometimes to feel something other than fury. Though most of the time it is just confusing! 🙂
Hi Andrea. I’m a new reader and can totally relate to this experience. It’s jarring. And to make it worse, we tend to continue to run the mini-movie of the terrible episode over and over in our heads. Stuff like that happens to me and I wander around muttering retorts and comebacks to the negative person. It makes me feel nuts.
I had/have a blog too. And I ended up not having words anymore after an incident involving Facebook – a ‘friend’ of mine showed a side I’d never seen via FB and bullied my 16-year-old daughter and my husband and I online over a silly teenage prank. I used FB as a way to post links to my blog and I just haven’t felt like writing posts since then. Just makes me feel too vulnerable.
Anyway, you’re innocent here. Just let it go and try not to let it replay in your mind anymore. Thank goodness for wisdom on Chipotle bags!
I really like this post. For having lost words, you wrote so eloquently.
I can’t stop reading comments, either, especially on controversial topics. I know I’m going to be disgusted by people, but I guess I keep reading in search of the few people who can offer a sane/different/intelligent perspective. If there are still a few thoughtful people left in the world, I feel a little better.